My Memories

Friday, July 16, 2010 ;

10:28 PM

Life as a Medic

Friday, 16 July 2010

It has been really long since I last blogged. Life in Tengah Air Base medical centre really sucks. It sucks to be posted to a 24 hours medical centre. I have to wake up in the middle of the night to serve idiotic patients during my duties. I can never get a good night sleep when I'm on duty. We were taught to be compassionate towards our patients but how? They report sick at 3am for stupid reasons and abuse the 24 hour medical centres which are on standby for emergencies after office hours. Why can't these people be a little more understanding and considerate?

The worse thing is we have to work another 8 hours after our 24 hour duty without any duty rest. Working 32 hours straight is really ridiculous. I rather sleep in a muddy trench dug by myself in the forest than to serve inconsiderate people at 3am. People always say that once you are posted to a medical centre, you are guaranteed an easy life. Really? I shall not go on to answer this question. I give up on complaining already, I just wanna finish serving my national service and move on with life.

I realised something. True friends are hard to find nowadays. People are always making use of each other. When they need you, they will call you brother/sister but when they don't need you, they wouldn't even bother to talk to you. Now that I'm serving the nation and I would hardly have time for my friends. I started losing many of them cause some of them just simply don't need me anymore. Even people who used to be my best friends are drifting further and further from me. Maybe it's my fault that I didn't put in enough effort to contact them often but when you are constantly busy and exhausted, it's really difficult.

Fortunately, I still have my family to help me tide over this difficult period of my life. I'm still learning to cherish them even more. National service has really made me realise the importance of kinship. I used to put friendship as my priority in life, I think it was really stupid. Friends can forsake you whenever they want to but only your family members will stay with you throughout everything. I'm so glad that I realise this early. :)

Signing off

Raymond Lee

The End

Sunday, March 28, 2010 ;

6:49 PM

WHY?!

Sunday, 28th March 2010

Alright, I'm now a full pledged combat medic. Yeah... I'm a combat medic but why am I posted to a medical centre? Seriously I have no idea what the people at the manpower side are thinking. I can't believe that they can assign a PES A combat fit personnel to man the medical centre when he should be in the frontline treating his wounded brothers. Okay that makes a male nurse in a SAF clinic. Great isn't it? Fuck! I seriously wonder how am I going to survive the next 500 days of my life in that fucked up gay place.

Look at what national service has done to me. I lost contact with some of my good friends and I hardly have time to meet up with my close friends. I'm becoming more and more uncivilised (vulgar). I lost the little bit of self confidence and pride which I had gained during my poly days. I thought national service is supposed to help me grow stronger and mold me into a better person? Why are all these happening?! Can someone answer me?! I hate my life and I hope things are going to improve or else I'm so gonna kill myself!

Why is this world is so unfair? Seriously I'm so sick of reading and hearing about people cheating on their girlfriend or wife. If you bastards want to fool around, you might as well stay single and you can fool around all you want without hurting anyone in the process. Give people who are really looking for a serious and long lasting relationship a chance! Cause nowdays good girls are always attached to some scumbags and I don't know why. I'm so disappointed that one of my good friend is one of them. I sincerely hope that he'll change for the better and grow up.

Okay I shall stop whinning cause life still goes on. It has only been 1 week and I'm missing my platoon and bunk mates in SMTI already! Let me post some pictures of my passing out parade which none of my loved ones attended cause I'm so not proud to be a medic. That's why I didn't invite anyone of them to witness the parade.

The End

Friday, February 05, 2010 ;

8:29 PM

Life in SMTI

5 February 2010

Long time no blog. This is my first entry in year 2010. I really have alot of things to share but I don't think anyone will be interested to read it. I have learned alot of things in the past 7 weeks. I'm about to complete my medic course. I still don't know whether I'll be able to make it through but at least I have two certs in the bag already. I'm proud to announce that I'm already a qualifed person to perform CPR and also a certified AED provider. YEAH!! I'm sure it'll come in handy in years to come.

Life in SAF Medical Training Instiute(SMTI) is boring and monotonous. It took me quite awhile to adapt to life in there. One simple reason why I could not adapt to life in SMTI, that reason is I hate science, lectures and to be a medic but I don't have a freaking choice. I have to attend many many lectures and countless practical lessons every week. There will be like one or two tests every week and I almost forgot to mention about the needle poking sessions. I really cannot take it anymore but I still have to. Sigh. I'm tasked to save other people then who's gonna save me?! Someone please save me! I don't wanna be a medic!

Okay I shall stop whinning cause it's not gonna help. Life still goes on. I shall just bear with it and try my best to complete the course and get the level 2 paramedic certificate. At least I know that I'm not wasting my time currently. I gain new knowledge everyday and these knowledge could be applied next time in my life.

SEEK, SAVE, SERVE! SO THEY MAY LIVE!

Signing off
Raymond

The End

Friday, December 18, 2009 ;

4:11 PM

My Army Vocation

Friday 18 December 2009

Yeah! I'm no longer a Recruit anymore, just passed out of my basic military training on December 9. I have been posted to Medical Training Institute at Nee Soon Camp as a Combat Medic. Which means my rank will remain as Private for quite some time. Oh well, I don't know what kind of shit will I go through for months to come. One thing for sure is on top of carrying the usual field pack load (15kg), I will still have to carry a stretcher and medical equipments for route marches and outfields. Sigh.

I'm so disappointed in myself because I always hoped I could get into SISPEC and pass out as a 3rd Sergeant but I failed to achieve it. Oh well, what I can do now is to do my best and hopefully I will perform much better this time round. I will learn basic medical and life saving knowledge. I hope it can be useful to me in the near future! I strongly believe I will survive and grow physically and mentally stronger after my 2 years in army.

Congrats to Eric and Samuel for getting into OCS and the rest of my bunk mates for getting into SISPEC! I will always remember Gryphon Platoon 1 Section 2! I will miss every single one of you! Cheers!

Here are some of my POP photos:

Hmmm.. On the second thought, I'm wondering if I should "chao keng"? Cause I really hate my vocation! Path 1 is try my best, chiong all the way and hope that the things that I'm going to learn will be useful. Path 2 is chao keng all the way and down PES to get the hell out of this idiotic vocation! I'll must make a decision soon! Haiz.. Sad life. :(

Signing off
Raymond

The End

Thursday, November 26, 2009 ;

1:10 AM

Improvements

Thursday, 26 November 2009

I'm so glad that I finally passed my IPPT but I thought I deserved silver for my effort. Just because of a fucked up commander. He made me mount on the bar for like 20 secs, demanding me to straighten my arms when they were already straighten. After that, when he finally allow me to carry on with my chin up. Apparently I did 8 chin ups, he only counted 3. Again cause he claimed that I didn't straighten my arms. What the fuck lah. As a result I had to go on a second attempt, fortunately I managed to do 6 chin ups to pass the IPPT.

I must say I have improved quite alot over the past few weeks. My 2.4km run timing improved drastically. From 11.17 mins to 10 mins flat which is my personal best. I guess I should give myself a pat on the back. I'm starting to gain back some of my self confidence which I have lost. To the people who always encourage and support me. I have not failed you. Thanks guys! I will not stop improving! This blog entry is dedicated to you guys! Cheers!

PS: Boring boring. Other than army stuff, I don't have anything else to blog about. Sorry people. I feel that I'm starting to lose touch with reality. Save me anyone?! :(

Signing off
Raymond

The End

Sunday, November 15, 2009 ;

10:13 AM

Confidence

Sunday 15 November 2009

I'm beginning to lose that little self confidence that I have gained during my poly days. Cause I was always considered one of the better students in class. I could do good presentation and was one of the very few who got an A for FYP. All these things boosted my confidence in myself.

Now. Back to square one. I'm a guy with no confidence in his capabilities and abilities again. I feel so useless. Why other people can be so successful while I'm always a burden to them. I worked really hard and yes I see some improvements but it's not enough. I'm still lagging behind others.

I guess that lack of confidence and hesitation has made me become a weak soldier. I don't want to be a weak soldier anymore. I'm not giving up just yet. I will still work hard. I will be successful. Watch me! Fuck you bastards who look down on me. I will fuckin prove you people wrong! Thanks to those who encouraged and consoled me, especially my section mates! THANKS!

Good news:

I already met the minimum requirements to graduate from Basic Military Training!
Passing Out Parade -> 9 December 2009 :)

Signing off
Raymond

Do you know how much I'm missing you?
Do you know how miserable I feel whenever I think of you?
I love you.

The End

Saturday, October 17, 2009 ;

1:04 PM

Life in Tekong

Sunday 17 October 2009

Hey everyone! I'm finally back in Singapore mainland. For the past 9 days, I have been training very hard in Pulau Tekong. Seriously speaking, the training is freaking tough, our schedule is like damn packed. However, I really enjoyed my first week in Tekong. It is tough yet fun at the same time. My bunkmates are a fun bunch of people to hang out with. People of different personality coming together complementing each other's weakness. Coy Gryphon Section 2 rocks! Another thing, I fired my first 6 live rounds and 5 of them hit the target board. No words can describe how I felt when I was holding the rifle. SHIOK!!!

Before I enlist, I did something really stupid. For the first time in my life, I actually went into a florist shop and bought a potted posy for someone really special to me. As expected, the reaction to it was bad. To be frank, I really regret doing that. I ruined the friendship for the second time because of my own stupidity. I guess there's nothing I can do to salvage it? I can only hope for the best. I'm sorry Shirleen. Forgive me. :(

For now, I just want to do well and be one of the best soldier. I will work hard. Low Rope, Jacob's ladder and Chin up, I will overcome you!

The day before I enlist, I took this picture with my PINK IC! I miss you so much!

Signing off
Raymond

The End