Wednesday, December 17, 2008 ;
1:14 AM
Life will never be the same againTuesday 16 December 2008
It has been 2 weeks. I really miss my dad. I wonder where he is now and what is he doing?
Enjoying himself at paradise?
Suffering in hell? (I hope not. PLEASE NO!! I'm willing to take his place.)
Roaming around aimlessly?
Just beside me guarding me?
Reincarnated?
I don't know and I'll never find out. No matter what I do it's impossible to bring him back to life. What is left are only memories of him. There are alot of things I wanna tell him but how? I don't know....
Sometimes, I ask myself, "Why do I have to go through all these?" Yes, the best answer would be retribution. I'm punished for being such a unfilial child. I'm punished for what I've done to him when he was alive.
I wish I could say sorry to you.
I wish I could hear you say "I forgive you."
I wish I could see you sitting on the sofa smiling happily in front of the television.
I wish I could hear you nagging at me again.
I wish I could quarrel with you again.
Wake up....
I had my chances to reconcile with him but I didn't take them.
End of story.
Accept it and move on with life.
Suffer with this sense of guilty for the rest of my pathetic life and get tortured in hell after death.
This should be enough to make up for whatever I've done.
If not banish me in hell forever....
I'm Sorry Daddy.
I miss you alot.
I love you.
I will be strong.
I will fulfill my promises and take good care of mum and di di.
Where is everyone when I need them? Nevermind, I deserve to take all these punishments all by myself.
Signing off
Raymond
The End
